明けましておめでとう！

Akemashite omedetou! Happy New Year!

A new year dawns, complete with the promise of new blog entries, full of apologies about not writing ^_^

In looking back over the past year, I'm pretty grateful for all my experiences. It wasn't the worst year ever, it wasn't the best year ever, but everything I experienced has put me on the path to becoming a more awesome person.

I'm thankful for coming to terms with my depression. When I think of how many years I have been wandering around in a fog, I'm amazed that I made it out of bed every morning. Since beginning treatment in September, I have made great strides toward becoming a fully functioning member of society ^_^ Okay, maybe not great strides, but some little baby strides.

I'm glad I took Aki in. He's a handful, and when he destroys things I often wonder if he's worth it, but when he leans in so I can skritch his chest and lets out a big sigh, I know I did the right thing. Also, he gets me out walking, which helps with the whole "too depressed to exercise" thing.

I sold some quilts! Quilting has been a hobby for me for many years now, but it's never been something I thought I was good enough at to make any money. I love doing it, and am happiest when my quilts find a home where they are enjoyed, but to think that I can earn some of the material cost back is pretty awesome.

I have a great network of family and friends. My parents and sisters are awesomesauce, and I am looking forward to seeing them all in June for Hezz's wedding. My friends in Faro who look after me, my friends back in Ontario who remind me of my roots, and my friends overseas who remind me of who I have been and will be again...I wouldn't be myself without them.

But, this wouldn't be a proper New Year's Day post without some goals for 2012, so here they are:

1. Be furiously happy. I discovered this concept earlier this year via The Bloggess's presentation at Ignite Evo - this video right here. If this means taping pictures of velociraptors all over town, gluing rhinestones to my truck, or taking a half-day every Wednesday to play with the dog, I want to do it. My parking spot is marked with a "Beware of Velociraptor" sign, and it makes me smile every morning. Do ridiculously silly, stupid things.

2. Work harder at failing. This is self-explanatory to me - as much as I want to just be automatically good at new things, statistics show that there is a correlation between practice and perfection. Note - I am not interested in perfection, per se, but in proficiency. I know that I need to fail at things in order to become any good at them. (Right now, I'm thinking about the free-motion quilting aspects of my life, but I'm also signed up for archery at the Rec Centre on Thursday nights, and I'm just letting my fellow students know in advance - y'all should probably be standing behind me when I let the arrows loose - just sayin'...)

3. Forgive more. I know that I am carrying around baggage from years ago. Sometimes, it feels like I've been carrying things around for centuries. This year, I want to release more of those suitcases of guilt and anger and hurt feelings and hopelessness. I don't want to be bent under the weight of things I haven't faced and haven't forgiven. (This may require some wine, though. And chocolate. And Kleenex.)

4. Leave my main bad habits behind. This one doesn't need to be expanded on in public ^_^

5. [REDACTED] Sorry, this one is personal, too.


So, that's what 2012 had better shape up to be - furiously happy, full of failures, and free of past hurts. Woooo!

So Tired...

I took the afternoon off work, and H and I drove our dogs down Blind Creek Road. We parked about halfway between the turnoff for the Sheep Viewing Cabin and the eponymous Creek, let the dogs out of the trucks, and proceeded to walk behind them as they ran and jumped and did dog-things. We pretended to be scared of them when they came tearing back toward us ("Ah! They have rabies! Ah!"), lured them to rest with bacon (jerky treats, not real bacon), and shot the breeze about dog-stuff.

I worry that I am not providing the kind of home that Aki deserves...and then I remind myself that he probably would have been eaten by a wolf some time over the last month if I hadn't taken him, so he's doing pretty well.

Anywhoo, the end result of our walk is that Aki is asleep in his crate, the cats are asleep on my feet, and I will be asleep shortly after I put the laptop down and turn out the light.

Not bad, for a Wednesday.

Where I've been...sort of

So, I've been informed by Kara that I've been fairly slack in the blogging department. She's right, of course. And Harold commented on my lack of updates, too, which gets me thinking it's time to get busy and get blogging.

I could blame work, or my inherent laziness, or the fact that if I can't think of a totally awesome topic to blog about then I don't feel like blogging, but those are all excuses. I just haven't been feeling it, you dig?

My latest excuse is the newest addition to my family...this guy.



This is Aki (or 秋, if you want to get technical), and he joined the family on November 6th.

Here's a little backstory on this guy. He is five months old, and has been running wild pretty much that whole time. The other puppies in his litter found new homes almost right away, and Harold tried to convince me when he took Aki's sister that I really needed a dog. To which I replied, "No way, I am not cut out for dog ownership."*

Aki would wander over to the town office and sit on the porch, looking in the doors and windows with a sad face. Eventually, one of his neighbours started putting food out for him, because he was losing all his puppy fat and it was starting to get cold. As the temperature dropped, my tiny shrivelled heart shrivelled up even more. "He's just a puppy!" my heart would shriek. "He needs to be looked after!"

Eventually, I couldn't stand it anymore. Michel had offered me a doghouse. Heather had offered me dishes and toys and anything I needed. Kara offered me dire warnings about how I really didn't want a dog, did I really want to be going for walks at -40, what was I going to do with him when I had to go to town? Thanks, Kara ^_^

At any rate, Aki came home with me a week ago, and we've been motoring along fairly well. I'm definitely not energetic enough for a 5-month old puppy, but I'm doing my best. We walk three or four times a day, he stays outside while I'm at work, and the cats are teaching him who's the boss around the house.**

I'm trying to teach him to be a good canine citizen. Poop is scooped. Jumping up is discouraged. Dog friends are being made (every time we walk by Copper's house, Aki pulls on the leash because he wants to go play). I'm trying to forget that I've been afraid of dogs ever since a friend's Boston Terrier bit me back in high school. And I'm dreaming of the day when I'll have the energy to take Aki to the park and actually play with him, instead of passing out at the end of the day.

It's coming, right?



* Famous last words.
** Rodney is the boss. If the dog sasses me, the dog gets a smack from Rodney.