American Apparel ads make me feel stabby.
The Tank Thong? Do I really need to have my eyes attacked daily by a banner ad consisting of 20 womens' butts with different colour thongs crammed up them? (I think it's actually the same woman, only the thongs have been colour-changed in Photoshop - but you probably know what I'm talking about.)
I'm not the first one to make this complaint, I'm sure, but American Apparel ads make me feel dirty. Not dirty as in sexy, but dirty as in "I wish I could bathe myself in bleach and scour everything from my brain to my toes with a Brillo pad." I feel unclean.
Sigh. I wouldn't have said anything under normal circumstances, but I was just catching up on the day's fugs at Go Fug Yourself, and blammo! Tank Thong Ass right up in my grill! I just had to share how icky I felt with you, Internet people.
Now to try to clear my brain so I can sleep.
Showing posts with label raarrrrrrrr. Show all posts
Showing posts with label raarrrrrrrr. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
The Procrastinatrix Strikes Again
So, I've got this proposal that is due tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow.
Until last week, the deadline wasn't a problem, because we weren't applying for funding. The application we put in last year was cancelled, and I figured why apply for the same thing that we will just end up cancelling again?
But last week, I figured out a different position we could apply for, through a slightly different agency, and BOOM! A proposal needed working on, STAT.
But I was away for a good portion of last week, and put off looking at the file, because I am a moron like that. That's what comes of being "smart" in high school. Not the kind of smart that studied and had good work ethics and stuff...no, I mean the kind of smart that could bullshit an English essay the day before it was due, having only skimmed the source material. The kind of smart that crammed like crazy the night before a test and always got good marks.
I mean, I should know better by now. I got my ass handed to me in university - I didn't have the foundation needed to actually study, to plan ahead and work on things in advance. Plus, I was studying Classics, Queen's very own joke-major. I think I wrote 3 essays in first year, and 2 in my final year. That's it. I'm lucky I graduated.
The thing with proposals is - you need to be good at talking things up. You need to sell the proposal without exaggerating too much. And I am not great at sales. (Ask Dianne for many examples during my time at Lindor.)
What it boils down to is this: we need someone to come and help us out. They can probably stay in my basement. Give us money.
Okay, break time is over. Back to writing.
Until last week, the deadline wasn't a problem, because we weren't applying for funding. The application we put in last year was cancelled, and I figured why apply for the same thing that we will just end up cancelling again?
But last week, I figured out a different position we could apply for, through a slightly different agency, and BOOM! A proposal needed working on, STAT.
But I was away for a good portion of last week, and put off looking at the file, because I am a moron like that. That's what comes of being "smart" in high school. Not the kind of smart that studied and had good work ethics and stuff...no, I mean the kind of smart that could bullshit an English essay the day before it was due, having only skimmed the source material. The kind of smart that crammed like crazy the night before a test and always got good marks.
I mean, I should know better by now. I got my ass handed to me in university - I didn't have the foundation needed to actually study, to plan ahead and work on things in advance. Plus, I was studying Classics, Queen's very own joke-major. I think I wrote 3 essays in first year, and 2 in my final year. That's it. I'm lucky I graduated.
The thing with proposals is - you need to be good at talking things up. You need to sell the proposal without exaggerating too much. And I am not great at sales. (Ask Dianne for many examples during my time at Lindor.)
What it boils down to is this: we need someone to come and help us out. They can probably stay in my basement. Give us money.
Okay, break time is over. Back to writing.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Updates from the Department of Yukon Life Lessons
3. Your garage is lower than your driveway, so make sure the snow is cleared down to the gravel.
My firewood guy is coming to drop off more wood today, and I really wanted him to just drop it in the garage so I could stack it indoors. I have to borrow a wheelbarrow, otherwise, and it is a great pain.
Unfortunately, I discovered that I can only open the garage doors a crack on either side, because there is a ... I don't know what to call it. A depression? An incline? Whatever it is called, I can't get the doors open because of the snow, even though I have cleared it as much as my crummy plastic shovel will allow. The snow that fell is kind of packed down, and it is going to take a lot of work to clear it. So even if Dan drops the firewood on the lawn, getting it into the garage is going to be a pain.
Too bad I have to go back to work in half an hour. This is going to take a while.
My firewood guy is coming to drop off more wood today, and I really wanted him to just drop it in the garage so I could stack it indoors. I have to borrow a wheelbarrow, otherwise, and it is a great pain.
Unfortunately, I discovered that I can only open the garage doors a crack on either side, because there is a ... I don't know what to call it. A depression? An incline? Whatever it is called, I can't get the doors open because of the snow, even though I have cleared it as much as my crummy plastic shovel will allow. The snow that fell is kind of packed down, and it is going to take a lot of work to clear it. So even if Dan drops the firewood on the lawn, getting it into the garage is going to be a pain.
Too bad I have to go back to work in half an hour. This is going to take a while.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Storytime
I'm back again. I took a little time off from blogging...mostly because I was approaching my 100th post, and I wanted it to be something meaningful. But it's hard to squeeze meaning out of hot dog lunches and looking after a friend's cats.
This past week was kind of rough, work-wise and personally. I can't talk about the work stuff (more's the pity, although I really don't need to keep hashing it over, so I guess it's more of a blessing), but the personal stuff...Yeesh.
Here goes...
Once upon a time, there was a girl who wanted to be an actress. She studied drama all through high school, and refused to even consider any other career. After high school, she auditioned for a couple of theatrical courses at a variety of colleges, and ended up in the Nation's Capital.
When she was there, she met a guy. He was older than she by a year, and he was the most interesting guy she had ever met. He lived one floor down in the same apartment building, and they hung out a lot. She was really, really into him. And although she longed to tell him, she was shy and hoped he would figure it out.
Unfortunately, he was really, really into a girl he had known for years, and so nothing really came of the infatuation. Our heroine, though, had suffered a tragedy - she now compared every man she met to the guy from college.
This had a negative impact on her relationship life. A few years later, she dated a guy for a few months, but after they broke up (because he was in love with a girl he had known for years) she never dated again. Not that she didn't want to, but circumstances just didn't work in her favour.
Flash forward to Monday, July 5th.
Our heroine was watching a great Canadian comedy show, and who should she spot as an extra in most of the scenes but the guy from college. In addition to all her "oh, why didn't I tell him how I felt" angst, there was a great big dollop of "why was I such a coward that I let people talk me out of following my dream?" woe. That was enough to cue a low-level funk.
Work interefered with her attempts to feel better. And then, on Facebook, she saw photos of the guy from college with his girlfriend...and her pregnant belly. They, naturally, were thrilled about their soon-to-be-born progeny. And our heroine felt sad, because she was alone and had two incredibly noisy cats instead of babies. She felt bad because her first reaction to their happy news had been to be miserable. She was happy for them - she was just a lot more unhappy for herself, because it felt like her life was going downhill.
So, Friday, after a shitty week, she went to a neighbour's house for coffee, and after that she came home to drink vodka coolers and eat shrimp noodles. And she feels a bit better for having shared her tale with the Internet. Where anyone and everyone can read it. Because, honestly, her life isn't over just because she isn't doing what she originally planned. It's just different.
In the words of Marcus Aurelius, "Everything that happens happens as it should, and if you observe carefully, you will find this to be so." You just have to get over the feeling sad part.
Happy 100th Post!
This past week was kind of rough, work-wise and personally. I can't talk about the work stuff (more's the pity, although I really don't need to keep hashing it over, so I guess it's more of a blessing), but the personal stuff...Yeesh.
Here goes...
Once upon a time, there was a girl who wanted to be an actress. She studied drama all through high school, and refused to even consider any other career. After high school, she auditioned for a couple of theatrical courses at a variety of colleges, and ended up in the Nation's Capital.
When she was there, she met a guy. He was older than she by a year, and he was the most interesting guy she had ever met. He lived one floor down in the same apartment building, and they hung out a lot. She was really, really into him. And although she longed to tell him, she was shy and hoped he would figure it out.
Unfortunately, he was really, really into a girl he had known for years, and so nothing really came of the infatuation. Our heroine, though, had suffered a tragedy - she now compared every man she met to the guy from college.
This had a negative impact on her relationship life. A few years later, she dated a guy for a few months, but after they broke up (because he was in love with a girl he had known for years) she never dated again. Not that she didn't want to, but circumstances just didn't work in her favour.
Flash forward to Monday, July 5th.
Our heroine was watching a great Canadian comedy show, and who should she spot as an extra in most of the scenes but the guy from college. In addition to all her "oh, why didn't I tell him how I felt" angst, there was a great big dollop of "why was I such a coward that I let people talk me out of following my dream?" woe. That was enough to cue a low-level funk.
Work interefered with her attempts to feel better. And then, on Facebook, she saw photos of the guy from college with his girlfriend...and her pregnant belly. They, naturally, were thrilled about their soon-to-be-born progeny. And our heroine felt sad, because she was alone and had two incredibly noisy cats instead of babies. She felt bad because her first reaction to their happy news had been to be miserable. She was happy for them - she was just a lot more unhappy for herself, because it felt like her life was going downhill.
So, Friday, after a shitty week, she went to a neighbour's house for coffee, and after that she came home to drink vodka coolers and eat shrimp noodles. And she feels a bit better for having shared her tale with the Internet. Where anyone and everyone can read it. Because, honestly, her life isn't over just because she isn't doing what she originally planned. It's just different.
In the words of Marcus Aurelius, "Everything that happens happens as it should, and if you observe carefully, you will find this to be so." You just have to get over the feeling sad part.
Happy 100th Post!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Rarrrr!
Look out, world! Today I am wearing my fiercest red sandals, and I am feeling stompy.
Where do emotions come from? Why am I suddenly filled with rage? I don't know. Nothing happened in the past five minutes to make me angry. But I want to stomp on things. I want to throw mugs at walls and shout rude, cryptic insults at passers-by.
Is this what insanity feels like?
In non-crazy news, I have less than 4 days to get my home prepared for the coming of the Parental Units (figuring in time spent driving to WH [twice], at a council meeting, and at work). I am both excited and exhausted, and they aren't even here yet.
Tonight I have to take my recycling to the Bottle Depot. I may have enough money coming to buy myself more booze. That would be both a blessing and a curse. It's hard to clean when one is stumbling around like a schmo.
Where do emotions come from? Why am I suddenly filled with rage? I don't know. Nothing happened in the past five minutes to make me angry. But I want to stomp on things. I want to throw mugs at walls and shout rude, cryptic insults at passers-by.
Is this what insanity feels like?
In non-crazy news, I have less than 4 days to get my home prepared for the coming of the Parental Units (figuring in time spent driving to WH [twice], at a council meeting, and at work). I am both excited and exhausted, and they aren't even here yet.
Tonight I have to take my recycling to the Bottle Depot. I may have enough money coming to buy myself more booze. That would be both a blessing and a curse. It's hard to clean when one is stumbling around like a schmo.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Note to self for Thursday
I'm writing this here so I won't forget by the time I get up tomorrow.
1 - Make signs with shuttle times
1.1 - Make signs with tour times
1.3 - Get shuttle times to J at DVG
1.4 - Make signs for Weight Room for Saturday night
1.5 - Make up GCs for ARAS Silent Auction
2 - Call ARAS to confirm table for Sheep Cabin, and to pick up 1.5
3 - Call PW to make sure table makes it out there
4 - Panic a little
5 - Calm down
6 - Find out for certain when the Fire Marshal is coming
7 - Find 50/50 tickets for draw at BBQ
8 - Have tea
9 - Roll posters in elastic
10 - Seriously, what was I thinking?
11 - Call B&Bs, find out if they want brochures
12 - If H brought tissue paper, wrap gifts
13 - If not, have a little cry under desk
14 - Write cards to go with gifts
15 - Find out about finances re: GC Breakfast
16 - Is that guy going to bring a guitar to the BBQ?
17 - I am going to be so sick on Sunday night, I can just tell
18 - Make sure everyone has my cell phone number
19 - Remember to turn cell phone on
20 - Find out if CRIC needs more maps/brochures
21 - Make sure laptop and projector have all their cords and stuff
22 - There will be enough salad
23 - Print up Sheep thing for CRIC on the nice paper
24 - Talk to K when she comes in for our meeting with CA - see if she can think of anything.
Man, I am to the point now where I just want this to be over.
1 - Make signs with shuttle times
1.1 - Make signs with tour times
1.3 - Get shuttle times to J at DVG
1.4 - Make signs for Weight Room for Saturday night
1.5 - Make up GCs for ARAS Silent Auction
2 - Call ARAS to confirm table for Sheep Cabin, and to pick up 1.5
3 - Call PW to make sure table makes it out there
4 - Panic a little
5 - Calm down
6 - Find out for certain when the Fire Marshal is coming
7 - Find 50/50 tickets for draw at BBQ
8 - Have tea
9 - Roll posters in elastic
10 - Seriously, what was I thinking?
11 - Call B&Bs, find out if they want brochures
12 - If H brought tissue paper, wrap gifts
13 - If not, have a little cry under desk
14 - Write cards to go with gifts
15 - Find out about finances re: GC Breakfast
16 - Is that guy going to bring a guitar to the BBQ?
17 - I am going to be so sick on Sunday night, I can just tell
18 - Make sure everyone has my cell phone number
19 - Remember to turn cell phone on
20 - Find out if CRIC needs more maps/brochures
21 - Make sure laptop and projector have all their cords and stuff
22 - There will be enough salad
23 - Print up Sheep thing for CRIC on the nice paper
24 - Talk to K when she comes in for our meeting with CA - see if she can think of anything.
Man, I am to the point now where I just want this to be over.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Tuesdays are trouble
When I said I wasn't going to buy any new food until I had used up some of the excessive amount of staples I have acquired through not knowing how to shop, I obviously neglected to say that Tuesdays before council meetings don't count. Because there is no way I am going to tonight's meeting until I have devoured that thin-crust pepperoni pie I just picked up. But when your choices are eat a pizza or start smoking again, it's not really a choice, is it?
The tricky thing about blogging is expressing yourself without saying too much, if you know what I mean. Good days become angry bees days just because one funny turtle opens its mouth.
Maybe Kennie is right, and I should install a punching bag in the office. Because my other option, install a bar in my living room, isn't going to happen.
The tricky thing about blogging is expressing yourself without saying too much, if you know what I mean. Good days become angry bees days just because one funny turtle opens its mouth.
Maybe Kennie is right, and I should install a punching bag in the office. Because my other option, install a bar in my living room, isn't going to happen.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Punching Monday in the throat
It's five minutes before work even starts, and already I have screwed something up. Hooray for Monday!
Seriously, things were going so well this morning - woke up, made my bed, made dinner and threw it in the crockpot, showered, put some laundry on. One phone call has made me upset, because I made a mistake because I didn't know any better.
This day better take a 180 degree turn toward awesome, is all I am saying.
Seriously, things were going so well this morning - woke up, made my bed, made dinner and threw it in the crockpot, showered, put some laundry on. One phone call has made me upset, because I made a mistake because I didn't know any better.
This day better take a 180 degree turn toward awesome, is all I am saying.
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