Jam Woes...and some Deep Thinking

I made two batches of jam over the past two days, and neither of them turned out quite the way I wanted. I overcooked one, and wound up with three jars of rock-solid blackberry sludge, and I miscalculated the sugar and undercooked the second, leaving me with seven jars of what will be the most delicious pancake/french toast/sundae sauce. The blackberry sludge appears to be salvageable, with time and patience, and I've already consumed 1/4 of a jar of strawberry sauce.*

As I said to H, I just hate not being instantly good at something. She pointed out that not being instantly good at canning was inherently different from not being instantly good at sky-diving, we all had a good laugh, and then I went back to what I do best - lazing around the house, not putting clean laundry away, and being the indentured servant of the fuzzy mens.

I've been thinking a lot about journeys lately. There's a part of me that wants to take off for a while - head out on the road and see what happens. (That is the part of me that doesn't remember that we just drove to Whitehorse and back on Friday/Saturday and that our legs are still cramping.) I'm afraid if I don't listen to that part of me now, though, that it's going to manifest itself much more loudly in a few months, and I'll do something without planning to do it.***

Anyway, to get back to the original point, I still have a few batches of jam I intend to try - I will keep you updated. Once my fingers have stopped feeling scorched.****


*Seriously, I may be going into a sugar coma. If I'm not at work tomorrow, please send help - preferably in the form of those two guys from Haven**
**Seriously, how have I missed out on that show? It's like my perfect blend of procedural cop show, paranormal show, and Maine (the creepiest of all states).
***See: How I moved to Japan, and also: How I moved to the Yukon.
****Unrelated to anything - some times, the cats will look at me without blinking, with these strange looks on their cat-faces, and I fear that they are plotting the best way to kill and eat me. Just FYI, in case anything happens.

Frenzy

I'm heading in to Whitehorse tomorrow. (What!? I can hear you saying. Weren't you just in WH, like, two weeks ago? What's wrong with you?! And, under normal circumstances, you'd be right. But I digress...)

I have to pick up all the food and the remaining supplies for the Canada Day festivities taking place on Friday. I could have done a day trip on Thursday, I guess, but the idea really didn't appeal to me. So, I'm driving in Wednesday, in a calm and leisurely fashion, getting supplies in the morning and food in the afternoon on Thursday before heading back to Faro.

I will also be working a long-overdue massage in there, as well as some highlights. I'm worth it.

This means, though, that I have to do a massive pre-WH cleanup. As I said on Facebook, "what if something happens to me and Crime Scene Investigators/co-workers/friends & family have to come into my house?" Is it significant that my first thought was CSIs?

Anyhoodle, I haven't decided if I'm going to bring the laptop with me, or if this is going to be an internet-free trip. I guess you'll know when I do ^_^

And so I'm back...from outer cyber-space

So, I took a little vacation from the internets. It wasn't really planned, but it was refreshing nonetheless. I went back to Ontario for almost three weeks, and some good times were had.

But now I'm back in Faro, and it's time to get 2011 rolling. Obviously, the past two days didn't count (I spent the majority of both of them in bed, watching Fringe). They were like a warm-up ^_^

I don't have a big list of goals for the coming year or a list of resolutions. I have ideas for the future, but nothing concrete. The only thing I am sure of is that I am going to conquer Candida Albicans this year and start feeling better. I ate a lot of stuff that I shouldn't have eaten over Christmas, and the new year is going to be a lot cleaner.

Of course, having said that, I am waiting until next week to start on the cleanse that Kara ordered for me, because the Wents are going out of town for a week and I have to make my own dinners. Me + making dinner = recipe for disaster. (This is not to put any guilt on you, Kara - I promise, there will be no pizza this week ^_^)

Today will include a lot of cleaning, possibly assembling my new bookshelf, and hopefully sitting down in the afternoon with a movie and Hunter's quilt. I'd like to get that finished before I settle in to work on the Crazy Cowboy quilt for my sister.

w00t w00t1

Food Stuffs

If I required any further proof that going back on the Dysbiosis diet was really working for me, this weekend has provided it.

Friday, after I walked to work because my car wouldn't start, I ate two of the muffins that Jackie had brought to work Wednesday afternoon. That evening, I was babysitting at Kara's and ate a bunch of pancakes and syrup with a diet Pepsi (lots of sugar). I spent the rest of the night curled up on the couch, feeling like I was going to be sick at any moment. I woke up feeling hungover.

Last night was the staff Christmas party, and I ate salad dressing (vinegar), stuffing (bread = contains yeast), Hawaiian fruit punch (sugar), and had to leave by 8:30 because my stomach was reacting badly. This morning, again with the sugar-hangover.

So, eliminating things that make me ill is a good thing. What I need to be able to do is to find a way to record the sensations I get when I am reacting badly, and play them back to myself during the moments when I find myself tempted by bad foods. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out a way to do that during the fifteen years or so that I have been reacting badly to food ^_^

This also means that I am not going to be eating even a small piece of Matt's birthday cake this year, which is kind of a bummer because it's that amazing flourless chocolate cake from The Chocolate Claim that Kara had for her birthday. Before this weekend, I would have risked it...but not now.

Now I'm off to make the first of many cups of tea today, and to work on my sister's Cowboy Quilt (I've only been putting it off for a year and a half ^_^)

Wordy Wednesday

I got all riled up about how I was going to do a Wordy Wednesday (all words, no photos) post to counter all the Wordless Wednesday (all photos, no words) posts out there, on account of me not having any photos to share.

Then I realized I don't have a lot of words to share, either.

I'm working as hard as I can, and that's stressing me out a little. I can't seem to get in front of my eating problems, and that is definitely stressing me out. My house is still not unpacked, because I don't have furniture to unpack things to, which isn't as stressful as you'd think.

On the up side, I started quilting something for a pretty special guy yesterday, and I think this quilt is going to be amazing.

Heartburn...

So many delicious pancakes for dinner + delicious chocolate cake = heartburn that won't end.

Such a sad ending to a delicious meal chez Went. They're getting ready to go away for two weeks, and I will be on my own again. I will have to occupy myself with painting the new house ^_^

In other news, there's a big public meeting in town tomorrow, and guess who gets to take the minutes? The girl who plans on getting all dolled up for it and wearing her stompy red sandals, that's who! Red skirt, black sweetheart-neck t-shirt, and crazy shoes - they'll have to pass a bylaw to get me dressed down!

I'm kind of tempted to buy these gold platform shoes with red rhinestone flame decals, just so I can wear them to meetings. It would be a kick, really ^_^

Where have I been?

Let's see...lounging, having a headache, working, working, having a stomachache, taking a sick day, and that brings us to today.

One thing I like about this town? People notice if you're not where you're supposed to be. Kara noticed my truck wasn't in front of the office yesterday, deduced I was sick, and she and Matt and the kids brought me dinner (and visited briefly because it was pouring buckets outside). Back in London, no one would have noticed a thing like that. Or brought me delicious cabbage-roll things.

Unfortunately for me, my landlord had made arrangements for some guy to come look at my house yesterday - without letting me know. The guy turned up, and I'm in my sweatshirt and fuzzy pants, definitely not expecting company. I asked if he could give me half an hour, and I tidied up the kitty litter and threw several bags of garbage in the garage. The house wasn't perfect, but it was okay.

Actually, the more I think about it, the more pissed off I get with my landlord. I thought maybe he had tried to email me at work, but when I got here this morning, there was no email. I was home all Tuesday night, so I don't want to hear him say he tried calling. That is bull cookies.

Also, if I hadn't been home sick, there wouldn't have been anyone home to show the guy around. Did you think about that, landlord?

Whew. Sorry, that got a lot rage-ier than I meant it to. I need to summon back the calm of last night - headache gone, belly full, overdosing on Supernatural. Life was good then.

Not good with planning

I've never really been a person who's good at planning - particularly when it comes to meals. Other people seem to have the knack of plotting out plans for a week or a month at a time, and they stick to them. Me, I can decide at 4:00 to make salmon for dinner, and by the time I get home at 4:30, I've changed my mind in favour of a burger or soup.

I'm really trying, though. I made an inventory tonight of everything that's in my freezer, and everything in my pantry.

I am trying to follow the advice of a woman who feeds her family of 6 on $190US a month. Granted, some of her options are not available to me - food up here is always going to be more expensive - but I have to try. I've already spent $100 this month on crap from Mel's - stuff I really didn't need to buy, but couldn't stop myself. I knew there as a reason I stopped going there for a month!

I get really tired of recipes that tell me to double the recipe up and freeze it. This is a problem for me because:
A) I am only cooking for one person anyway, doubling it up would make enough for 8 servings;
B) I don't have a really big freezer;
C) I don't have a microwave, so reheating food is just as much a pain as cooking it the first time was, and;
D) I tend to forget about things in the freezer, and eventually end up throwing them out.

Whew.

Anywhooo, to wit, I am trying to plan ahead, so that my next grocery trip will be an organized, list-following extravaganza.

Sunday Brunch

Well, it was not actually brunch - more like a late breakfast, but it was nice. A few strips of turkey bacon, some hashbrowns mixed with salsa, and an egg. Yes, salsa contains vinegar (and probably sugar, too) so it wasn't quite dysbiosis-halal, but it was a nice little brekkie.

It's a greyish day in Faro - Kennie used the word "snain" for what they're having in Ross, but here it's intermittently drizzly. That's unfortunate, because today is the town's Clean Up Day, in preparation for next weekend's Festival. I don't know about the general public, but I certainly am less than enthused about picking up trash in this kind of weather. Even the thought of the Hot Dog BBQ to follow is not lifting my spirits.

But for the next two hours at least, my focus is on the house. There are prospective buyers coming to look at the place on Wednesday, so I need to get it spiffed up. Ever since I got a dining room table, I have been piling things on top of it. I guess I needed a gentle reminder that piling things is a common habit of hoarders, and I do not want to be a hoarder, do I?

Off to work!

Feeling whiny

I can be pretty obnoxious at time, I think.

I complain a lot, because complaining is so easy, but really, I have a pretty good life. I have my health, a family who loves me (I think), and some really great friends (some old, some new). Yes, there are things that could potentially make my life even better (someone to share it with, a money tree, world peace), but on the whole, I am pretty lucky.

So, when I'm a jerk, I'm really a jerk.

The little voice in my head should be saying stuff like, So what, a girl you went to school with (and didn't even like much at the time) is making a go of it as an actor, where as you went home and lost your nerve and never pursued a career in theatre? So what, the guy who broke your heart years ago is having a baby with his partner and they're both really happy and excited about it, and it makes you feel like you're going to be alone for all eternity? So what?

Right on, voice in my head. I had dinner at Kara's last night, played with the baby, and enjoyed being in the company of pleasant people. I shouldn't let myself get into the mopes just because of a photo.


In positive news, I made a really nice soup for lunch today - Coconut Chicken, with carrots and potatoes and stuff. I feel like I am becoming the Queen of Soups up here.

Tranquil Sunday

I have a batch of chili in the crockpot, apples and nectarines baking in the oven, and a plan for dinner. I'm curled up on the couch with my new notebook, fire crackling away in the fireplace (not because I'm cold but because I still have a ton of firewood left to burn before the fall arrives and I move back into the hotel), and things feel pretty good.

I had a chat with the parentals earlier, and I explained to them the situation at work, what I've been asked to do. I thought about it over the weekend, like Heather asked, and I talked to Kara and Matt (the Sam and Dan of the North), and I decided what I'm going to say. Hopefully, that will put an end to my drinking ^_^

It's nice not having to do anything. I haven't even put on real clothes yet - I've been lounging around in my PJs and hoodie (although the hoodie should probably go, as I sprayed it with soup while I was making lunch). The house is clean enough that I don't feel stressed out when I look around, and although I have a load of laundry I could throw into the machine, I don't feel any pressure about it.

Hooray for Sunday!

Baby, you can drive my car...

If by car I mean truck, and by you I mean me.

I woke up kind of late this morning, which isn't surprising since I didn't fall asleep until late. I puttered around the house, doing dishes, cleaning the fridge, and just generally trying to clean house. I pretended Mom was coming over for lunch, and I didn't want her to see the kind of disorganization I normally live in.

It worked pretty well - it was mostly my quilting stuff that had spread all over the floors. I got a handle on it, and did some trimming and pinning this evening.

In the afternoon, though, I went for a drive. I needed to get gas for my truck (and for my jerry cans), and decided I would take a spin to Carmacks. The store in Carmacks has a much better selection of vegetables than the Hardware store does here in Faro. (I know, Kara, I said I wasn't going to buy any more food, but when I was cleaning this morning I found some veggies in the fridge that had gone a little manky, so I needed to replace them.)

It was a very nice drive. Two hours there, with my satellite radio cutting in and out so that I wound up listening to a CD. I saw a few birds but nothing really big (I guess the North and I are still uncertain about each other), and I sang out loud as I whipped down the road.

By the time I did my mini grocery shop and filled up my tank and cans, I had spent almost an hour in Carmacks. I didn't want to stop at a restaurant because I didn't want to be still for any amount of time - I wanted to be back on the road. The radio was strong all the way home, and I sang and sang.

I like the Campbell Highway between Carmacks and Faro. I like being beside Little Salmon Lake, the way it's open and lovely with the mountain on the opposite side. The shadows of clouds pass over the still-icy surface of the lake and the sun lights up frozen wavelets.

I am glad that I went, and happy to be back. I am making food plans for the rest of the week, and I am confident that I will not be resorting to burgers in the near future ^_^

New sweet Notebook

So, my new computer arrived from Dell today, meaning I am not going to be without Internet for an entire weekend. Instead, I got to fight with it over lunch, trying to set up the wireless router, got to go back to work frustrated, and then I ignored it on my brief stop at home before going to dinner at Kara and Matt's.

At dinner, I drank several drinks, ate a delicious elk roast with carrots and sweet potatoes, and got to have ice cream with my beer for dessert. Seriously, it was the best dinner I've had, well, since the last time I was over there for dinner ^_^

And then I came home, and the problems the computer had been giving me at lunch were gone - it connected to the wireless router easily, and I have been downloading all the things I need to have to make it feel perfect.

Granted, the keyboard is a bit tinier than I am used to, so my hands are feeling a little cramped as I attempt to touch type, but other than that, I am happy as a clam.

My other computers were all Computrons (2000, 3000 or 3.0, and IV) but I have decided I am moving away from the name "Computron." This little thing is tiny, red, and awesome, and so it is named "Sweet Cherry Notebook."

I will probably just call it Cherry ^_^

Now, having come home and started a fire, I feel a sudden need for nachos. I'll be in the kitchen.

Where is the boy who fetches my drinks?

Still not a 100% definite answer on the cautious optimism issue of yesterday, but perhaps 80%? If the corners of my mouth turn up a bit, is that out of line?

I just composed a two-page long email to Sean regarding his email from the weekend. It was nice to have someone to whom I could completely unload, about work, about life, about my continuing lack of love-life. I think I'm going to have get his phone number in Australia - it's been too long since I've heard his voice.

Yesterday's soup turned out a bit more like baby food than soup - turns out that when Mum said to use a blender, she meant use a blender. The hand mixer was not terribly effective - especially when it was spewing sweet potatoes and squash all over my kitchen and work clothes ^_^ Ah well, live and learn. 'Twas tasty, nonetheless.

Right, then. Back to work.

Cautious optimism is the watchword of the day

I got a phone call last night that could, hopefully, take care of one of my major stressors - namely, a keynote speaker for the Festival. I shan't say too much, lest I jinx it, but things may change this morning.

Made some cupcakes this morning for our last lunch with my boss, and I managed to throw the makings of soup into the crockpot. I did not have enough butternut squash, owing to a complete lack of understanding of: A) what squashes are like on the inside, and B) how quickly an unattended squash will start going rotten. Also, I did not have apple juice or apple cider vinegar. So I had to make some additions.

So it is a butternut squash, apple, and sweet potato soup. I used actual apples instead of juice, and threw in a sweet potato. I might try to sneak out for a few minutes later today and throw some carrots and cauliflower into the mix. It all gets blended up, anyway, and that would be a sneaky way to add more veggies to my diet.*

I can't believe it's only Wednesday - I feel like I have been going for days and days. I think I need to go to Carmacks this weekend, to get gas - I forgot to bring my jerry cans to WH when I picked up the truck, so I will need more fuel very soon, particularly if I am going to keep driving around town (getting super lazy).


*Note, I will not actually be fooled - it's not like I will forget that I put cauliflower in there ^_^